All Of Me
by Shenandoah76209
Summary: This is River's perspective for part of All The Voices Never Stop and part of the rest of the season. It's just a one shot. Maybe someday I'll elaborate on it more but right now I like it the way it is.


_**All Of Me**_

My head's under water  
But I'm breathing fine  
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me  
Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections.

* * *

He was alone. She hadn't felt anyone with the same depth of solitude as she possessed. She knew to the finest point how painful that solitude could be. She couldn't remember a time she hadn't been alone, untouched, and isolated. Simon had been her one consolation but even he wasn't entirely hers. Duty and desire called to him. Brilliant doctor. He was...but it had cost him. He couldn't simply see her as his sister anymore. Now she was a patient, a problem, someone he had to fix, or solve. Part of his family, his House, and no longer entirely an individual.

She'd been alone since that day their father had given Simon a dedicated sourcebox. Simon had become guided by his quest to become a brilliant doctor. And she had been left to a solitary existence.

There was no one who could match her mentally. She'd given up on that long ago. Long before Simon had gone away to school. But she'd hoped for a little while that with Simon working so hard that she would have a bit of her parents attention. But she was only a girl. And Father wasn't interested in her the way he was in his son. And she wasn't enough of a girl for Mother. Dresses were fine, jewels were pretty, but she had no desire to make fashion or society her reason for living.

She'd gone to the Academy when she'd realized it was her only chance to meet others who might be like her. Other people with minds as strong and intelligent as her own. She'd hoped to find friends, a friend, someone with whom she could become close.

Simon had rescued her. But she'd emerged from her box of nightmares and was as unfamiliar to him as if she'd been born on Deadwood. She looked like his sister but she was only a shell.

She was as isolated on Serenity as she had been on Osiris. The crew, Simon, even Inara, they all tried but they didn't know what she needed. She needed...so many things...

She needed someone to see her. Someone to look at her as if she wasn't broken. She needed someone to touch her as if she was a woman, not a child to be led by the hand. And she needed someone by whom she would be valued.

He was just as alone as she. He had no one here. He needed someone, believed someone was coming. Soon someone would come for him. And he hoped it was true even as he denied what he wanted. He hid his desires, his need, even from himself. But he couldn't hide it from her. No one could hide from her.

No one ever touched him. She could feel the longing from within the walls of the ship, for softness, for the tenderness that hid strength, and the longing for a home. Wrapped in hot blood, armored in taciturn power and hidden behind dark lenses was the need of someone who'd been without family for an entire lifetime.

People feared him, respected him, avoided him, but they had never understood him.

He'd had women. Could have had men if he'd been so inclined. A predator, alpha male, power resounding through him, it drew the attention of everyone around him. He was a virile, primal, Alpha male with the sexual appetite that accompanied a man of his stature. But none of those women ever touched him tenderly. None of them ever made him feel more than lust, hunger or dominance. The urge to protect his bedmates had only extended for as long as he'd wanted to possess them. And the Animal inside, the Furyan, needed more.

He had voices inside too. Voices as ancient as the far worlds spinning. But his were comforting. They told tales of lost glory, burned worlds, traditions beyond the understanding of tamed creatures like her brother or the Captain. The Voices had driven him once. Like trying to force a cat down one particular path. He'd been filled with rage. A rage to equal that burnt world. A fury eclipsing any she'd ever felt. Equal to the genocide of a people.

And that promise again. A promise of Home. That word...it meant everything to him. Home meant acceptance and peace and family. Home wasn't a place anymore. He was waiting for his home to come find him. But it was anticipation that was held back, controlled, hidden carefully.

Control...it was the first thing she'd felt from him. Control of the need. Control of the longing. Control of the rage. And control of the Animal coiled inside him. This man did nothing without a reason. This man restrained every emotion unless he wanted to show some feeling. If her amygdale was gone then his was overdeveloped. He felt with an intensity that vied with everyone else she'd known. But the behavior she saw in his memories gave no hint of that intensity.

He was watching the ship. He watched from a vantage point that made it clear he did not trust strangers. She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her body before she concentrated on his mind. She could feel all of them. The crew. The settlers. Even some animals near the buildings. And him. It was hard to push them all out. But letting him in... If she allowed his mind to flow over hers it swept the others away. For a while.

He was on the run. Wondering if the ship had come to hunt him. Realizing that the Elder had called for help with the bandits. That pleased him. Someone was talking to him. Attentions divided and she lost track of his mind for a moment.

Simon's voice at her door. Fresh air. A walk. Maybe she could explore. Feel the grass under her feet. Touch the animals or the trees.

* * *

The voices in her head were more annoying than overwhelming at the moment. Speculation from four dozen or more strange minds regarding the obviously Core folk walking down the ship's ramp. The crew were working mostly. Kaylee's mind was like sunshine and daisies as she looked at some equipment that needed repair. Wash was bargaining with someone. Cap'n Daddy, Zoe and Jayne were prepping for the job. Shepherd was talking to the Elder.

Eyes on her felt like itching. Dozens of thoughts, worried and rife with troubles poked and buzzed around her head and made her want to hide in the safety of Serenity's hull. Simon had too firm a grip on her arm. Inara was like a soft wool blanket wrapped too tight, meant to be comforting but just a little stifling. Simon's thoughts were jarring. Worry and condescension pulled tight with surgical silk and held strong with Right and Good and Mine.

Eyes, hot eyes, from the hilltop. The scent of _Agrostis stolonifera_ and _Trifolium repens_ blew towards her on the breeze. A man, crouched in the grass, something large and brown beside him, with dark goggles gleaming over his eyes. He was a powerful figure, his wide shoulders and heavily muscled arms clearly visible.

A bird distracted her, song drifting over the air and she tried to track it, but then the man was speaking to a child and her eyes drifted to him again. He was thinking on her, on Inara and Simon, curiosity warming his thoughts. River tried to pull her arms from Simon's grip. She'd never get to see anything if he didn't let go. How many species of grass were there here? And the clover smelt so sweet. She could gather it for a nosegay. The man on the hill was still watching. Warm eyes. She couldn't help looking up at him again. His was the mind filled with longing.

Now he stood, lifted the brown thing to his shoulders, a deer, easily carried down the hill as the boy ran ahead of him. She could barely focus on words; the Elder was calling him over, a name, _Richard_ , resounding in her mind. Introductions and a low voice that sounded like the grumble of thunder and the heat of lightening rolled into one speaking to Inara and then Simon.

Simon talking to her in that condescending voice. As if her brain had been lost completely and she couldn't even understand words. She'd been out of cryo months and granted it was hard to talk with all the voices and feelings and weight of staring eyes but she managed. She tried at least. "She'll watch the wolves run into the trees, flickering in and out. Scent of clover in her hair."

She hadn't made it clear that she'd try to be good and just watch the others while she gathered flowers. Simon's spike of worry nearly drove into her brain and she shook her head. The big man's eyes were on her. She could feel them despite the dark goggles he wore. His gaze was filled with consideration and warmth. He was curious, interested and the primal part of him was saying she was a woman not a girl.

So close she could see more of him, his height was considerable though he was shorter than the captain or Jayne. His skull was shaved closely but she could see a bit of scruff on his jaw in a dark color. His skin wasn't as dark as Zoe's but not nearly as light as her own. More of a mix between the two, and darkened by the sun. And his body radiated power. He was more muscular than Jayne even. His entire body seemed more solid, as if he could never be moved against his will. He was a predator. She could feel the Animal inside him, a wellspring of power. And she couldn't help but speak, "A mighty hunter." She smiled with pleasure as he looked at her more closely, "Provides for people. Mighty heart."

His white teeth were revealed in a pleased grin and he nodded at her. He liked the compliment and felt compelled to give her one in return. His drawl had intensified as if he was playing a role, speaking of how pretty she was and suggesting she and Inara go for a walk. River couldn't quite tell if the compliment was genuine or if it was born of his rough courtesy. It was pleasing nonetheless. And Inara seemed to like his manner, respectful if a bit rough.

River almost pouted as Richard winked at her before he began to walk away. She wanted to follow him, see him more, feel more of that disciplined mind. Inara began guiding her on a sedate walk and River sighed.

She sank to the ground so that Inara and Book couldn't move her and began to pick the white clover. Some of it was colored with pink and a few blossoms had near violet hearts amidst the white. The two adults stood and conversed quietly as she accumulated grass stains on her knees gathering her flowers. It was a good way to think, to consider what she could do.

The man, Richard, his mind was even more suitable than Jayne's. Even if she could convince Jayne none of the crew would ever take it seriously. And the idea that she could convince Jayne was very unlikely. He didn't trust her. He thought she was trouble. Dangerous.

He wasn't wrong.

* * *

The ship was quiet that night. Everyone was either celebrating with the village or sleeping. Most importantly no one was paying attention to what she was doing. She'd heard Inara enter the ship and walk up to her shuttle. The rest of the crew was still outside, dancing or drinking.

River smiled slightly as she slipped off the ship and down into the grass. No one noticed her, not Kaylee dancing by the fire or Book praying over dead bandits on the hill. Zoe and Wash were sitting by the fire. She was just a slender figure, walking around the circle of firelight, staying out of view. She'd never understood why people would willingly blind themselves by lighting a fire in the darkness.

Shepherd said light gave people hope. She frowned to herself and shook her head. Hope was a two edged blade. It kept you alive but it destroyed you at the same time.

She frowned and considered a moment. A review of the hypothesis was in order before she spoke with the Elder. Everything she remembered of the Academy said they were training her. There were others also being trained. The doctors and scientists hadn't exactly been discreet in discussing their theories. Talk of volatile subjects and calming influences, references to chemical combinations and numerous thoughts she didn't really want to hear regarding potential matches.

At the time she hadn't been able to determine if they were attempting to create chemical balances or character matches. But it had been very clear that the teams would be made up of one or more members with a very active 'talent' and someone with the ability to stabilize the other team members.

She had no idea who they would have matched her with, but she knew she needed someone whose amygdale was undamaged. Someone unrelated in any way. And most definitely someone who would want to keep her, who would be willing to let her stay or go away with her. Jayne was the only possibility among the crew. River shook her head in denial. Jayne did use his amygdale to control his emotions but his mind wasn't truly compatible with hers. She'd determined that during the job on Regina. This required trust and Jayne didn't trust her.

She couldn't blame him. She was unstable. She was very dangerous. And when she became overwhelmed she was extremely unpredictable. So every place they went, every job the crew had, she waited and she listened and she tried to find someone with whom she would be compatible. Strangely enough, Badger had come the closest besides Jayne, but she hadn't really liked the little man and the crew would have had several litters of kittens between them all if she'd made any such attempt.

The Elder was working his way through the crowd. He was curious about the crew, interested in their lives, if they would like to settle and make Triumph their base. She drifted out of the shadows as he neared the edge of the firelight and when he blinked in surprise at her presences smiled hopefully at him. "Elder Gommen," She greeted him with a little curtsey. "I am River. We met this afternoon."

"Yes," He nodded and smiled as he recognized her. "I'm glad to see you'll be joining us for the celebration. Have you eaten? A young maid should be sure to keep her stamina up for the dancing."

River smiled more widely. This man truly meant well. He genuinely cared for his people, worried for them and suffered with them. "I have eaten thank you sir," She tilted her head minutely towards the man, Richard, who was sitting alone just outside the firelight. "I wondered if I might ask about one of the men of your village."

"One of our men," Gommen rubbed his chin. "I suppose there's no harm in a question or two. Though we don't truck with adulterers or fornication here," He warned her in a deceptively gentle voice.

The Reader shook her head, "No, I do not believe he is married." She said quietly. "You introduced him to us this afternoon. He is a hunter I think; he carried an entire buck upon his shoulders."

"Ah, you mean Richard," The Elder seemed pleased she was asking. "Richard hasn't been with us long, he wanders far and wide from here while he hunts. But I consider him a good man and one of my people nonetheless."

"Then he is not married?" When Gommen shook his head River pressed a bit further, "Has he ever shown an inclination to be married?"

"He hasn't given his interest to any of the girls in the Maiden house," The old man shook his head. "I've told him many times that he should take a wife. He is alone too often."

"But he does not wish to be married," River frowned. That was an obstacle. Simon would not tamely allow her to live with a man. He would do everything in his power to prevent it.

"Perhaps he simply hasn't met the right maiden," Gommen suggested quietly. "He spoke more to you than any of our girls."

"Would you approve of the match?" River decided she would make the attempt. The worst that could happen was that he'd reject her.

"If he wished to remain here would you be content to do so?" The elder regarded her thoughtfully. "You wouldn't miss your people?"

"I would, but should he agree to marry me I must cleave unto him," Dark eyes regarded the old man patiently. "I would not force him to go. I would not beg him to leave with me. It would be his choice."

"And why have you shown an interest in him, above all the other young men here," The Elder was very shrewd in his questions.

River thought for a moment before she answered, trying to think of an honest way to say what she meant without giving away her secret. "He...seems lonely," She said finally. "I am...apart from my people in my own way and I understand what it is like to be alone and surrounded by folk. He is strong and beautiful. Powerful. But he was...gentle with the boy on the hill. Strong men can be very...mean. He doesn't seem to be. And he said I was pretty. Perhaps to be polite, or perhaps because he truly thought it, but he is the first man to even notice me."

"Are you sure he could be a good husband to you? And you a good wife to him?" The grey haired man regarded her sternly.

"I won't know for certain until I speak with him. I would be honest with him, about what I need and what I want. He seems the sort of man to whom falsehood is...a foolishness best left to others," River smiled slightly. "I would try my best to be a good wife for him. If he is even half the man I hope he is, he will be a good husband to me."

"Put like that, I see no reason you may not ask him to wear a marriage wreath," Elder Gommen beamed at her.

River grinned, "Thank you sir. I will speak with him and see if he is willing, now that your blessing is given."

"You know where he is, by all means child, speak with Richard," Gommen gestured toward the still man watching the dancers.

* * *

Spoken to him she had. Spoken, kissed, wedded and bedded and vowed. She was a wife now and Richard was a husband. It was strange but wonderful at the same time. He was surprisingly affectionate physically. He'd made love to her over and over again; his mind bent on proving to her that he'd be a good husband.

River smiled to herself as her new husband's hands pulled her closer to his body. In comparison to her he was huge, taking over the bed with his strength and weight. She let her fingers slide over the corded muscle in his arm, and reveled in the feel of his smooth skin. He smelled perfect to her, echoes of leather and soap on his skin along with the salt of his sweat. The Reader rested her cheek on his chest and inhaled with a smile she knew was just this side of silly.

She'd never seen a man like her husband. The Companion her parents had given her had been handsome in a typical Core way. His skin had been as white as hers and his hair brushing his collarbone. His eyes had been a brilliant green and he'd been slender. Taller than she was and stronger, but he'd been nothing like her husband.

It had been a surprise to watch Richard strip down so pragmatically and wash himself. His thoughts had been of his scars and the bulk of his muscle and that she might be frightened by a smelly naked man. He'd been out hunting and didn't want to smell of dust, blood and sweat when he came to her. So he'd washed himself thoroughly and grown aroused as she'd stared at him in delighted surprise.

She hadn't been able to keep from speaking in her awe of how wonderful he was to look at. His _diǎo_ had been impressive without being fully aroused, full and heavy between his thighs. He was built so solidly that until she'd seen him with his clothing off she hadn't realized just how broad his shoulders were in comparison to his waist. There didn't seem to be an ounce of fat on his body. Only scars and a handprint marred his perfect skin.

He'd worried she would find the scars and handprint repulsive. She'd wanted to touch him but she couldn't seem to move for staring at him. Her hands had itched to feel his skin, to see if he felt as warm as he looked. The need to touch him seemed to take over her mind. He'd had to help her undress she'd been so fumble fingered.

'Little wife' he called her. River smiled again. It reminded her of what the Captain called her, 'little one' but without the childish connotations of the Captain's nickname. Richard also liked to call her his. That was more reassuring than anything else.

No doubt Simon would have all sorts of a fit when he found out but she was finding her husband's possessive nature to be more comforting than the knives she'd seen hidden under the bed. "Mine," She whispered against Richard's skin and kissed the area over his heart.

She could hear it beating. He wasn't asleep. She was fairly sure he wouldn't sleep until she did. When she kissed him and claimed him, Richard's pulse sped up. That pleased him; she could feel the warmth of his joy glowing hot inside his heart. His hands moved over her back and slid down to her thighs, "Say that again." His wonderful thunder and lightning voice sent her skin tingling.

"Hmm…" River rubbed her cheek against his chest before she looked up at him. His eyes were glowing a beautiful silver in the darkness. "Mine. My husband. My Richard. My Riddick." She pressed kisses to his skin to punctuate her words and was rewarded with a groan and the stirring of his body.

"Fuck yeah," He pulled her up his body until his lips could meet hers and took her mouth in a hot kiss that left her breathless. River shuddered in his arms. Nothing, no Companion, no schoolboy, could have prepared her for the feeling of his hands on her skin. She might have thought such a large, tough male would be rough with her. Richard's hands were firm, possessive, but so gentle and tender with her body. And his mouth…

The wonder of kissing him would have convinced her to wed even if she'd been dead set against it. His kisses could be hard and desperate or tender and sweet, but either way she couldn't get enough of them. Surprisingly soft lips nibbled and tasted hers until she was moaning uncontrollably into his mouth. His tongue slid into her mouth, boldly tasting and stroking inside her until she couldn't help but reciprocate.

What was even more amazing was the way he behaved around her. His hands constantly touched her, his fingertips caressed her skin or his lips brushed over her hair or cheek. His mind was practically glowing with the pleasure of her company. His hand palmed her breasts and gently rubbed over the sensitive skin until it seemed like the warmth from his body had infected her skin and built to an inferno.

He was devastatingly sure of how to touch, of where pleasure was hidden behind her skin, and how to bring it out. It seemed like no time at all that she'd begun to writhe and moan against his body from his first kiss. She gasped into his mouth, her hands gripping his shoulders for something to steady her through the storm of feeling that whipped around her.

He was beautiful, the feel of his body, the ferocity of his mind as he concentrated on her pleasure. When his fingers slid inside her she was startled all over again at the intensity of the sensation. His large hand cupped her _wài yīn_ with his thumb stroking her clit while his fingers rubbed and pressed to his thumb from within her body. The ecstasy, when it came, shattered through her like lightning, and she screamed into his mouth with the shock and delight of it.

His voice was a satisfied rumble of thunder against her lips, "That's my woman." He pulled his hand from her body and River felt her blood swim in her head as her husband lifted and turned her. But his touch was firm and soothing, helping her to kneel as he placed her hands on the round rail of the headboard.

She was kneeling, would have been on all fours if he hadn't put her hands where he did, River blinked and looked over her shoulder at her husband. Her eyes had adjusted to the dark somewhat, enough to see him kneeling behind her. At her look he bent and pressed a hot kiss to her spine, nipping the sensitive flesh with his teeth, "All right?"

His _diǎo_ rubbed against her entrance, hot and damp with his seed and her fluids and River moaned her assent. He felt huge against her body and she wondered absently if she'd ever become accustomed to the size of her husband. Would it always feel shocking and wonderful? The size of his body and the accompanying size of his genitalia? Or would she grow so used to him that she'd take him for granted? She hoped not. There couldn't be anything better than this.

River tried to push herself back onto him and was held still by those huge hands as they gripped her hips tightly. She was so skinny compared to other women, she wished she had pretty curving hips like Kaylee or Inara, something for her new husband to hold onto. And if she was wishing she'd wish for larger breasts and curls in her hair to boot.

Then Richard began to push inside her and every thought flew out of her head as his body filled and stretched hers in a way that had to be divine. The moan that drew out of her throat was an elongated cry of release as her body throbbed and clamped down around his tightly. She couldn't stop the cries as he filled her and the slowly withdrew. Just when she was ready to shriek with the frustrating emptiness he slid inside her just as carefully.

His groan was loud in the small cabin and his hands tightened on her hips as she vibrated with need around him. She couldn't stop pushing backwards if she'd tried, needed more of him, hard, fast and thorough before he filled her with his seed again. River cried out as he began to pull away from her again. Her entire body ached with the need for his touch, her breasts were swollen and tight, the tips painfully puckered with longing for his mouth. The air was cool on her skin and made her feel isolated but for the one point of connection between their bodies. She needed, needed him, his hands on her, moving, holding her, making her his. His mouth, hot on her neck, breathing in desperately as he took her hard and fast until they were both mad with it.

River moaned and shuddered; tried to push back again and her desperation must have filled her voice. She felt him wonder and sniff the air, scenting her need for more, before his hands slid from hips to her waist. The warmth of his palms was such a contrast from the cool air that the relief was bliss. "Ohhh..." She could have wept with the pleasure of it. She could feel his hips pressed against her _pì gu_ and his strong legs between her spread thighs, warm and powerful, reminding her to whom she belonged, and who belonged to her in turn.

Richard seemed to realize then, seemed to understand that she needed more of his touch, his thoughts blazed with how he could take her. River pushed back, used leverage and momentum to kneel upwards, and pressed her spine to his powerful chest. Before he could object she turned her face into his neck and bit him lightly, her teeth scraping over his jugular. The growl vibrated through his chest and throat and sent her body quivering.

"Mine," She murmured against his skin and let her hands drift back to caress his hips. One of his arms banded across her ribs as his fingers slid down to her _yīn dì_. The other palmed one of her breasts and his fingers tugged at her nipple, teasing it with gentle rolls and pinches and pulls until she was almost sagging back against him in desire.

"Mine," His stormy voice resonated through her just before his fingers began to tug on her clit. River nearly screamed as he began to move again, harder than ever inside her, his hips pistoning upwards while his arms held her body firmly to his.

She was falling, her body, all pleasure filled shrapnel, exploded around him as he drove her from height to height only to force her to fall over each cliff before he took her higher yet again. His _jī ba_ was relentless inside her and the Reader was breathless with ecstasy as her husband's body filled her over and over. It was like being bludgeoned with pleasure, hot, raw and primal.

Finally he capitulated to his body's need, a guttural roar spilling from his lips and River screamed as her entire body seemed to convulse and clench around his. Hot, bright, sharp, teeth and hands and need. His need, hers, it all twisted in her head until she couldn't be sure where he ended and she began.

They collapsed on the bed, Richard twisting so she fell on top of him, his body leaving hers. The emptiness was indescribably wrong and she shivered unhappily until he rolled over her and kissed her. At the forefront of his mind was his worry that he'd hurt her and she kissed his neck. Her whisper of her need for him inside her brought a hot flash of silver to his eyes, brighter than anything she'd seen yet and she knew it was his animal side.

He pulled her to him and kissed her again to start their love play all over. And this time when it was done, when his seed was filling her belly, her husband was careful to keep their bodies joined as they fell asleep.

* * *

So much had happened. So many changes. Simon had been foolish to the point of stupidity. Honestly she couldn't understand what had gotten into him. He kept going on and on about her husband and annulling her marriage.

Even last night after she and Richard had gone to bed Simon had managed to disturb her. Thankfully her husband was quite adept at distracting her from her brother's words and thoughts. She knew that Richard didn't think much of her brother's attitude, and were Simon not related to her he'd be dead already. Richard was many things but patient with abuse wasn't one of them. And he definitely thought her brother was abusive, in his words and attitude at least.

River sighed and closed her eyes. She could still feel the warmth in the bed that lingered from Riddick's huge body and his scent on the pillow was the soothing thing in the world apart from his presence. She'd felt his hand on her hair and how he'd carefully tucked the quilts around her before he'd left the bed.

He'd also left a knife under the pillow for her. His trust of her with his weapons was as much a gift as the gown he'd given her. She smiled, still a little sleepy, letting her mind drift along with him as Zoe showed him the crew bunk. She nearly didn't hear Simon come in the room without knocking.

Her eyes flew open at the feel of his presence, chilly and filled with self righteousness, a hypo spray in his hand that pressed, quick as a snake, to her neck. Her hand came out from under the pillow with her knife, slashing at his side and tearing through his shirt and flesh in a long shallow cut that did nothing to stop him, drug weakened as she was. His intent filled her mind and she whimpered, struggling with suddenly uncoordinated limbs against his grip, her protests only mumbles and whines. The knife fell from her hand before she could do more damage than that one cut and she whimpered pitifully.

Her struggles were no use against the drug he'd used on her and even though she flailed and thrashed, the straps held her down. Simon was getting ready to inject her with the drug that would kill any child that might be inside her and she could only sob and try to pull away.

Riddick's roar of fury echoed through the infirmary and she saw her husband just before the drug finally overwhelmed her. Her last thought was that Riddick would keep her safe. He would protect her. Even from Simon.

* * *

River shuddered and woke out of a sound sleep with a scream that echoed around the cargo bay and startled the hell out of Jayne. She became aware of her husband pacing beside her and Mal standing on the stairs, worry a blaze of red coming off of him. "What're you screamin' about?" The captain demanded to know. "'Less you're freaked out 'cause we're landin' on Ariel. Not sure I blame you 'bout that. Feel like to scream some myself." He was trotting down the steps towards her, his eyes scanning her to make sure she wasn't injured.

"Pretty little wife, you feeling all right?" Riddick was a warm solid reassuring presence and she leaned on him gratefully.

"Bad dreams," She sighed against him. "Didn't mean to take a walk. Trying to get away from the Blue Hands." In the months of their marriage she'd had more than a few nightmares but usually her husband in the bed beside her was enough to chase them away.

"They here?" Jayne was looking more than a little murderous. He remembered the Regina job and how she'd talked about Hands of Blue back then. When he'd mentioned it to Riddick her husband had sat her down with the rest of the crew and she'd explained that she hadn't been talking nonsense but was actually sensing the operatives sent by the Alliance.

"No, but the Core is where they are most comfortable." River shuddered and her husband wrapped a soft wooly blanket around her, scooping her up so her bare feet weren't chilled.

"She's getting worse." Simon came out of the passenger lounge and Riddick snarled at him before mounting the stairs to the catwalk and carrying her back up to their bunk.

* * *

River carefully sliced the protein into little cubes and tossed them with flavoring before throwing them into the pan to fry. Spices like Book had taught her and dried peas and potatoes would make an excellent split pea soup. A little water to reconstitute the vegetables and a little while later she had a decent meal for the crew.

"So you'll take the job?" Simon was asking Mal as they entered the galley. Riddick and Jayne were playing cards with Kaylee while Zoe and Wash were arguing about going out and seeing some of Ariel's parks.

"I'm not saying its a bad idea. Might be a good one. But what you're forgettin' Doc, is that you don't have no say so over River's medical business anymore. That's up to her and Riddick and I'm not gettin' in the way of that." Mal was not a stupid man and River smiled at him when he got a mug out of the cabinet overhead. "Smells real good little one," He praised.

"I've made enough for all of us. With some left for Inara when she comes back. Book taught me the recipe." River's smile widened when the captain kissed her forehead like he would a daughter and pulled a bag of rolls.

"Well then seems like these'll go perfect with that." Mal began to get the bowls and silverware out. "Ya'll clean up the card game, River's made us a fine meal an' we're gonna do it justice while we talk over this job the Doc's got."

Riddick was growling at Simon. "We know what's wrong. River's already said. They stripped her amygdale. But she's getting better and I'm not putting her through being drugged and smuggled into a damn core hospital just to satisfy your curiosity. She can't stand the infirmary here and she loves this boat."

River nodded her agreement when Simon opened his mouth to object. "Yes, I can speak for myself Simon and no, I don't agree with you. If I wanted to get scanned I could hack my way in and make an appointment. I'm getting better, not worse, and therefore the subconscious is working our my fears and memories in dreams. Some nightmares are to be expected."

"All right, that settles that," Mal nodded and gave Simon a warning look that said he'd better drop the whole thing. "Now the idea of knockin' over the hospital, that ain't a bad one."

Riddick nodded and River grinned. "Husband and I can help from the sidelines. Should not be seen in the Core however."

"Figured as much and I 'spect there'll be plenty to do here." Mal agreed and helped her to ladle out the soup, passing the basket of rolls around the table.

"Why's it green?" Jayne asked, sniffing apprehensively. River grinned at him and he made a face back at her.

"Because it's split pea soup with potatoes and carrots and peas are green. Book taught me how to make it. You liked it then. It was after the catalyzer blew on the compression coil, remember?"

"Huh," Jayne tried some cautiously and grinned as he remembered the taste. "Oh yeah. Only he used some a that bacon we traded for 'stead a ham cubes."

River smiled as everyone began to eat the meal she'd prepared, her husband kissing her cheek in thanks, before the ins and outs of robbing St. Lucy's were discuss ad infinitum.

* * *

"So you're tellin' me that we're delivering to someone who lives on Ezra, which happens to be the planet Adlai Niska's station orbits. And you've crossed Niska." Riddick was staring at Mal as the captain had lost his mind. "But we're still going."

"Made a deal. Gotta stick to the deal." Mal shrugged.

"Man like Niska don't forgive and forget, despite you payin' him the money back." Riddick shook his head. "No Mal. This has 'trap' written all over it. Be smart for once. Avoid Ezra."

River touched her captain's arm and shook her head. "Captain. Please. If we go, we will lose all we have gained. Niska will take you. Cut pieces off you. He'll kill you. He'll kill whoever goes with you. Everyone at the meet will die, some quick, some...not so quick."

Zoe came down the hall from the bridge and River could tell she'd caught the tail end of the conversation because she was nodding her agreement. "I gotta say I agree with 'em Cap'n."

"Little witch, are you sure about what you're seein' an' hearin'?" Mal looked at her solemnly and she nodded.

"Please. Don't want you to die." She touched his ear and then his chest over his heart. "He will want to meet the real you. Sadistic old villain. Please."

Mal sighed and looked at Zoe and then back down at River and finally nodded. "All right. Zoe you send a wave canceling our appointment and we'll head on towards elsewheres."

River heaved a sigh of relief and hugged Mal tight around the waist, squeezing the stuffing out of him before tugging her husband away for some celebratory sex.

* * *

Eating an ice planet had a certain art to it. River wasn't entirely certain it was an art she wanted to learn. She stole a bowl from a vendor and grabbed a spoon from another one and began to eat her ice cream in a manner that did not drive her crazy. Jayne laughed and teased her but her husband just kissed her head and carried the bag of spices they'd gotten at a scary man discount.

"What the fuck is that?" Riddick muttered as Mal and Zoe carried a coffin sized crate towards them.

"An old friend bringing trouble to our doorstep. They think he's dead, but he's playing possum, with the help of the fancy drugs Simon wanted us to take for the St. Lucy job," River murmured for Riddick's ears only. "We will have to tell Mal and Zoe that Tracey is not dead."

Kaylee came storming over to cry on Inara's shoulder and River sighed. "Simon is an idiot."

"Well that's nothin' new," Jayne observed, glaring at the doctor who was clueless and asking about the coffin to boot.

"Did we get something fun?"

River groaned and followed Mal and Zoe.

* * *

It wasn't easy to get their attention but she finally managed it, explaining what she'd Read off of Tracey and how he was smuggling organs. "We can take him to St. Albans but the trouble will still be following him."

Mal and Zoe tore down to the infirmary and told Simon what was going on. Of course Simon had to see it to believe it. And right around that time the Feds started to come looking for the parts Tracey had.

River rolled her eyes as the boy explained what he'd done. "What did you think would happen when they took the parts out of you? Your own organs are back wherever you left them. You're expendable to them."

Tracey looked gobsmacked and Kaylee, who looked as if she felt a little sorry for him, rolled her eyes and shook her head at the idiocy of men.

"Well if they remain stable they'll last you a while, until you can get your own organs back," Simon pointed out.

"Can't exactly go strollin' on back to the lab to pick 'em up now can I Doc," Tracey shook his head. Another explosion sent Serenity shuddering and Mal growled in annoyance.

"I've got half a mind to just turn you over to the Feds. Bringin' this trouble down on me an' mine."

"Captain, if I may, I believe I have an idea of what to do about our overzealous pursuers." Book offered in his polite voice.

His plan had been a good one too. It had gotten the Feds off their backs and they'd dumped Tracey on St. Albans with a good riddance and good luck to him. Mal had been so relieved he'd even taken Inara up on her offer of a job for an old friend of hers.

* * *

River smiled as she propped her feet on the edge of the bridge console and nudged a precariously placed dino back from the edge. "Is the crime exciting today? Or is it only run of the mill crime?" She asked Wash as he leaned back in his pilot's chair.

"Oh, somewhat exciting crime," Wash grinned at her. "Badger wants a few little chores done. I expect our more violent halves are hammering out the details along with Mal." His grin tilted slightly, "Or should it be your more burly half since you're just as capable of violence as he is?"

River giggled and shrugged. In the near year of travel since her marriage she'd improved by leaps and bounds thanks to Richard's stabilizing influence and patience. The Alliance and Blue Sun had sent a bounty hunter after her along with the Blue Hands but the crew had managed to deal with that trouble with a minimum of injuries. Simon was still a constant irritation but he had been allowed on the upper deck without an escort after six months of good behavior. It had been Riddick who'd helped her determine what had fragmented her psyche beyond the stripped amygdale.

Wash rotated his right arm and she looked at him in concern. The secret of Miranda had been bloody and ugly and the telling of it something her husband was still a bit sore about. He still growled whenever anyone mentioned the planet or Reavers. His aggravation was understandable. She hadn't been pregnant but they'd decided to try for a baby and in the next week she'd been shot at, pursued by an Alliance Operative, fought Reavers singlehandedly and then had Purplebellies hold their guns on her. None of that had been Riddick's idea of a safe pastime. He didn't mind that she was part of the crew now and did crime when her expertise was called for. She was better with a gun than he was though no one could equal him with knives.

"Is it aching?" She frowned at Wash's shoulder. A Reaver spear had carved a chunk out of his upper arm and only Riddick's strong arm pulling him sideways had kept the spear from impaling the gentle pilot.

"Well you said it would take time to rebuild the muscle and you're right." Wash grimaced. "For all the work that Simon did on it, nothing beats time I guess."

River nodded sympathetically. "Your arm, Mal's side, Jayne's leg." She shrugged, "Simon can't work miracles and neither can the Alliance medicines. Not without time and protein."

"Is he still set on leaving?" Wash asked curiously. "It seems odd."

"He and Inara both." River sighed. "I think in a way it's for the best. Inara stayed to see if she and the Captain could make a go of it but they're too different. They value different things. Better she leaves now before he gets too attached to her again. He will never be what she wants and she cannot be what he needs. Captain is better off visiting Nandi and courting her."

"Inara's a Companion through and through," Wash agreed.

"Plus if she stays in the Core, she'll have access to the drugs and therapies she needs." River nodded. "She can live a full life if she stays on Persephone or moves to Sihnon or Ariel."

"Is it odd that we never knew she was sick?" The pilot wondered. "I mean, we're a family, we all care about each other, some more than others, but still..."

River shook her head. "She worked very hard to conceal it. Did not want us to know. If she hadn't had that episode we never would have." Inara have a mild seizure in the galley had clued the entire crew into her illness. Inara had felt humiliated by their knowledge and the loss of control. It had been the beginning of the end of her relationship with Mal.

"I thought Simon was sorta sweet on Kaylee though. Why would he leave her?" The pilot picked up his stegosaurus and rubbed at a spot on its foot.

"Kaylee was sweet on him for all of five minutes until he was...the way he was about my marriage. And when she started to look at him without the stars in her eyes she didn't care for what she saw." The Reader shrugged. "She tried to overlook it, but Simon has always been a boob and then he was just mean a few too many times. He asked her to come with him, told her she could get some schooling, design ships, he could give her all sorts of luxuries."

"And she turned him down?"

River nodded slowly. "He kept pressing her, pushing her to make a choice. Even after she asked for time to think about it. And being Simon he wouldn't do anything improper like sex before marriage so she knew that part of their relationship was solid at least. Even after he said he would before the fight on Mr. Universes moon. She was pushing for sex and Simon was pushing for commitment and Kaylee finally told him no. Simon couldn't manage to bend the rules for her...though honestly I don't understand why not. And Kaylee didn't have any reason to leave all of us."

Wash sighed and shook his head. "Must have been a load off of Jayne's mind at least. He's been moping around like Vera was broken or something."

The Reader smiled. "He brought her some plastic flowers the other day. Sprayed them with scent he stole from the whorehouse we were at last. The scent drove Richard crazy and he made Kaylee wash them but Kaylee was happy for the thought at least."

Wash chuckled and pointed into the distance of the docks. "I do believe our intrepid bargainers are returning. And if I'm not mistaken, we have got a job."

River grinned. "Wonder where we'll end up going? I hope it's somewhere fun like Deadwood or Whitehall."

"Deadwood is fun?" Wash shook his head at her and River grinned at him. "River, has your crazy come back?"

"Fun for Richard and I, good hunting. Which means good eating for the rest of you." River's grin widened as she caught the tenor of Riddick's thoughts. "Ohhh... shiny. Badger wants us to rob a company bank. It's gonna be like a stagecoach robbery only on a train."

The pilot chuckled, shaking his head still, "River you and I really need to discuss your definition of 'shiny'. I don't think you've quite got it."

"Always wanted to dangle out the airlock on a tether," River giggled. "Richard will be needed with you to pilot."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and that won't be necessary," Wash called after her as she raced down the hall to the stairs.

"The girl can live in hope pilot man!" River called back, laughing as she trotted down the stairs to the mid-deck and entered the cargo bay by way of the catwalks. Another set of stairs and she was down to the airlock to meet her husband and the others. Kaylee was acting as the barker again. "Do we have any takers?"

The sunny mechanic shook her head. "Ain't had much luck so far. No one's interested in the Rim much. Guess they're all scared of Reavers and outlaws." She shrugged.

"We'll find folks as we need," River kissed Kaylee's cheek affectionately. "You are all right though?"

Kaylee smiled and nodded. "It was time to let go of all that mess. Too much talkin' an' wishin' and not enough livin' up to words. Talk is pretty an' all but a girl needs some lovin' too. An' I'm gorram tired of needin' to buy batteries."

Mal arrived just in time to catch that last bit and yelped, "I cannot hear that kinda talk. I can't know that!" He hurried inside in a what he was obviously hoping was a manly way.

Zoe chuckled as she passed and patted Kaylee's shoulder. Her belly was obvious to anyone who knew her. Soon she wouldn't be going on jobs anymore. "All quiet here?"

"Quiet as a church." River nodded and grinned as her husband strode up to her and picked her up to kiss and hug, walking up the ramp with her legs wrapped around his waist.

* * *

Dinner that night was quiet but still fairly comfortable. Inara was discussing how to best pack up the few things she'd brought. The trunk of sundries would be removed and the shuttle completely cleaned out and ready for a new tenant once she'd gone. There'd be waves and post but she'd never live on Serenity again.

Simon was stiffly polite to everyone and River sighed to herself. She'd lost her brother a long time ago and they'd tried but they'd never be as close as they were before he left for school. He thought he'd lost her to the Academy and then Riddick. But he had left her long before that. "Dedicated source box; brilliant doctor." She murmured and by a quirk in the conversation her words echoed loudly in the lull.

"What was that?" Mal looked at her inquiringly and Simon was staring at her as if she'd (once again) lost her mind.

"I was just remembering when I was little on Osiris. Simon sent our father a wave complaining about how the cortex had eaten his report." River said quietly. "Father received it in the middle of a board meeting. We had been playing soldiers and Father walked in to hear Simon using foul language. Lost his head in the heat of battle."

Simon's face softened from its stern and proper lines. "You said the Independents were riding dinosaurs."

"They were." River nodded firmly. "But our father made a deal with Simon. He would get a dedicated source box. In return, Simon would become a brilliant doctor. Dedicated sourcebox; brilliant doctor." Her smile tilted wistfully, "After that, Simon didn't have as much time to play. Busy keeping his word." She leaned against her husband and felt his arm wrap around her waist in a comforting squeeze. "Still keeping his word. Even when the parents aren't here to see. Don't care anymore."

"It's what I've worked for my entire life." Simon reminded her. "You don't need me here anymore. You haven't in a long time."

River nodded. "And you've given up enough for me. You can go back and be forgiven. I was always the trouble maker anyway. Mother and Father will understand if you're properly repentant and take your place at the hospital again."

"I'm not going back to Osiris," Simon shook his head. "Why would I? To the endless round of parties and obligations and ridiculous expectations? I'm going to work on Persephone. I can do good work here and still keep in touch with you. Serenity docks her often enough that I'll see you at least a couple times of year if you wave me when you're coming. The hospitals here are very good."

"That would be...nice. To be able to visit with you." River nodded. She saw her brother's eyes dart to Kaylee for a moment and understood why he was staying on Persephone a little better. He hoped that Kaylee would miss him and after some absence stay here with him the next time Serenity docked.

Riddick stiffened beside her and she knew he'd noticed the direction of her brother's gaze as well. Her husband had warmed up to the crew considerably, though he was still wasn't the friendliest soul on board. But he'd never warmed up to Simon. He couldn't forget what Simon had done and neither could River. She could behave cordially towards Simon, let her brother believe their fences were mended, but she could never trust him again. And any visiting would be done on the ship, Riddick would never trust Simon enough for her to go visit him. Not that she blamed her husband one bit.

"Ya'll just about packed up then?" Mal asked in a somewhat businesslike manner. "We're leaving for Whitehall in about eighteen hours give or take."

"I've managed to procure lodgings and I've engaged a cab to deliver my things and myself tomorrow morning." Simon nodded politely.

"And one of the boys from the temple here is going to pick up my trunk." Inara nodded. "Simon has graciously agreed to share his cab with me and drop me off."

Mal's smile was a bit forced but only a bit. He and Inara had tried. It hadn't worked but they had at least tried. He wouldn't be left wondering about might have beens and what ifs.

* * *

River wandered down to the cargo bay and sat on Jayne's weight bench, absently lifting one of the little free weights while she waited for the sun to show over the horizon. Riddick's solid presence behind her wasn't much of a surprise. He knew she was still upset by Simon's behavior, not that her brother could tell. "You sorry to see him go pretty litte wife?" He stroked a hand over her hair before he scooped her up and sat back down with her in his lap.

"Sad that for all the distance between Simon and the Core he could never truly leave it behind. Still sees me as part of his House. His responsibility, shaped like his sister. I lost him a long time ago, but he still thinks that without the Academy I'd be the girl he left behind." River rested her head against her husbands shoulder.

"Things change, whether we want them to or not," Riddick reminded her.

River nodded and kisses him. "I know. But we'll have our own family. Mal will court Nandi and convince her to come away with him. Jayne and Kaylee will dance around each other and get closer and closer. Wash and Zoe will have their baby and then we will have ours. And we will find our way home."

She had to give her husband credit. His mind was very quick. "We'll have our baby? As in soon after Zoe has theirs?"

River nodded shyly. "Zoe had some extra tests. Gave me one. Came up with a little plus sign. Plus one."

Riddick kissed her, his entire body suffused with joy and held her even more tightly. "Home."

"We're home." River agreed.

* * *

 _Author's Note: So that's it. Hope you all liked. I didn't want this to be a huge multi chapter story, just a little set up and then a few little scenes throughout the season. Just an idea of how things might change if River was more stable and if she and Riddick weren't hiding things._

 _ **Chinese Translations** :_

 _diǎo_ (cock)

 _wài yīn_ (vulva)

 _pì gu_ (butt)

 _yīn dì_ (clitoris)

 _jī ba_ (dick)


End file.
